To celebrate Andy Borowitz’s The Borowitz Report and its new home at The New Yorker, here is Borowitz at LIVE in 2006 in a totally improvised and spontaneous program in which he answers the audience’s questions about what the future holds:

Q: So, how does the war in Iraq end? Is it the Sunnis, the Shiites, and the Kurds, or is it NASCAR, or is it helicopters taking the Americans out? 

ANDY BOROWITZ: Well, those are two of the more rosy scenarios that have been—. How does the war in Iraq end? You know, I don’t know, I mean, I think, it doesn’t necessarily have to end, I mean I think that—I’m just trying to be positive here, but, you know, here’s the way I see it, which is, you know, we have all kinds of problems. I know we have some seniors here tonight and there’s a lot of concerns about Social Security. President Bush has been talking about how Social Security’s in trouble and needs a bailout. I think President Bush, as an October Surprise, is going to offer all seniors the opportunity to serve in Iraq. I think that’s what he’s going to say. Because you know what? Social Security may be bankrupt in a year or two, but the war in Iraq is going to be here for years and years and years, so I think that’s—I think—that was sort of a depressing answer, wasn’t it?

Listen to the full program here…